"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are" (Anonymous).
When we're feeling blamed, or feel like blaming, it's wise to take a moment and be curious. In an article titled "The Blame Game Hurts You Just as Much as Them" by New York therapist Hilary Jacobs Hendl she gives some great advice on questions to ask yourself before firing back.
She recommends that we ask ourselves:
What am I feeling that makes me want to judge my friend right now?
What I am I feeling that makes me judge myself right now?
What am I feeling that makes me criticize or belittle myself or someone else right now?
What am I feeling that makes me want to overeat, over-drink, obsess or ruminate right now?
What is happening right now that I just popped out of my skin and became self-conscious? What is going on here?
Another question worth asking is, "Is there some truth in what they are saying".
The act of pausing and becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings takes pract...
Today, the word "anxiety" seems to be part of everyday language, yet many people don't really understand what it is.
We humans have very complex ways of feeling unsafe, such as fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment, feeling blamed, judged, criticised etc.
If these feelings of being "unsafe" become frequent, intense or for long durations, anxiety will occur.
For some people, anxiety is a debilitating disorder, for others, anxiety restricts them and reduces their comfort zone. When you learn to overcome anxiety, you start making decisions from discernment, not fear.
In mental health, knowledge is power, and the first step to overcoming anxiety is to learn about it. Understanding the physiology of anxiety and mood change is a very powerful start to managing and overcoming anxiety.
I watched this TED Talk by Psychologist Kelly McGonigal last night. She explains how the way we perceive stress can either be a killer or a friend.
"Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case". Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others.
Kelly McGonigal translates academic research into practical strategies for health, happiness and personal success. full bio